October 16, 2003 Family Questionnaire - David W. Williams Download blank Questionnaire Note: Most Favorite Items should be listed in order of favoritism and Least Favorite items in order of least favoritism 1.          Favorite Books - Fiction (limit 10) The Sea-Wolf/1991/Jack London Foundation Trilogy/197X-199Y/A. Asimov Needful Things/Stephen King/19 King Rat/1993/James Clavell Shogun/1976/James Clavell Tai-Pan/1993/James Clavell Texas/1994/James Michener Alaska/1994/James Michener 2.          Favorite Books - Non Fiction (limit 5) The Third Chimpanzee/1993/Jared Diamond Critical Masses/1995/George D. Moffett Blowback/2000/Chalmers Johnson The Bell Curve/1994/Richard J. Herrnstein, Charles Murray Death to Dust/1994/Kenneth V. Iserson, M.D. 3.          Favorite Authors (limit 5) Aisaac Asimov/Jack London/James Michener/James Clavell/A Conan Doyle/Stephen King 4.          Over Rated Authors Tom Clancy 5.          Favorite Movies (limit 10) Head Office/1986/Eddie Albert and Judge Reinhold Runaway Train/1985/Jon Voight and Rebecca De Morney The Dresser/1983/Albert Finney and Tom Courtenay Aliens/1986/Sigourney Weaver and Michael Biehn Terminator II:Judgement Day/1991/Swartzeneger Dawn of the Dead/1978/George Romero 6.          Favorite TV Shows (limit 10) St Elsewhere/The Prisoner/The Avengers/Seinfeld/ Dark Shadows/Gilligan's Island/First Wave/Farscape 7.          Favorite Cartoons (limit 5) Scooby Doo, Where Are You Johnny Quest (original series) Courage the Cowardly Dog All Marvel Comics cartoons 8.          Favorite Plays or Musicals (limit to 5) Sweeney Todd/Annie Get Your Gun 9.          Favorite Actors James Garner/Sean Connery/Leslie Nielson/John Candy/Robin Williams 10.         Favorite Actresses Rebecca De Mornay/Sigourney Weaver/Drew Barrymore/Ingrid Bergman/Imogene Coca 11.         Most Over Rated Actors or Actresses Jason Robards/Walter Mathau/Jerry Lewis/Lucille Ball/Kevin Costner 12.         Favorite Comedy Team The Three Stooges with either Curly or Shemp 13.         Favorite Comedians Paul Linde 14.         Favorite Musicians or Groups Greg Brown-Folk Stan Ridgway-Folk 15.         Favorite CDs Partyball by Stan Ridgway In the Dark With You by Greg Brown I'm Breathless by Madonna (Songs from Dick Tracy Soundtrack) Sarah Vaughan's Golden Hits Beauty and the Beast Original Motion Picture Soundtrack A Star is Born Soundtrack w/Barbra Streisand 16.         Favorite Songs I Wanna Be a Boss by Stan Ridgway - Folk Baby, It's Cold Outside - Jazz Oldie Imagine All the People by John Lennon - Popular Oldie In the Dark With You by Greg Brown - Folk Pocahontis Theme by Vanessa Williams Come a Little Closer by Jay and the Americans - Popular Oldie Taxi Broken Hearted Lullaby by Sarah Vaughan 17.         Favorite Classical Music Piece Passacaglia & Fugue in C Minor by Eugene Ormandy and the Phila Orchestra 18.         Favorite Poem Ozymandius by Byron Shelley I met a traveler from an antique land, Who said--"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert . . . . Near them, on the sand, Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them, the heart that fed; And on the pedestal, these words appear: 'My name is Ozymandius, King of Kings, Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away." Percy Bysshe Shelley 19.         Personal Hobbies, Past Times, or Interests Writing Web Page Design Health Club workouts Golf Listening to Books on Tape (Recorded Books on Tape, Inc) Listening to Radio Classics like "Challenge (Sargent Preston) of the Yukon" 20.         Favorite Vacations Camping at Watkins Glenn State Park in Seneca, NY (Wine Country) Day trips or longer to Cape May, NJ (on the Jersey Shore) Golf Package vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC (Good shopping and restaurants too) Visiting parents on Cape Cod 21.         Most Annoying Pet Peeves Note: Do not list "answering questionnaires." Intellectual Bullies Mean Spirited Drivers 22.         Description of the After-Life Full awareness; no stress; meeting past family members; renewing old friendships; making new friends; total leisure time; astral image that can travel the universe; unlimited library of books, music, and movies 23.         Personal Hygiene Advice Use a moisturizer after age 30 on the face, neck, and hands. Wrinkles are caused by the body's inability to moisturize itself as one gets older. Brush the top of your tongue as well as your teeth every day. Disgusting dead skin forms on the tongue near the back if you don't brush there. Floss regularly to strengthen the gums. Do it each day but once they're in good shape you don't need to do this as often. 24.         Best Advice Concerning the Opposite Sex (immunity granted in advance from prosecution.) Don't knuckle under 25.         Greatest Societal Changes Witnessed in Your Lifetime A greater percentage of wealth being distributed to the wealthy Personal Computers and the Internet Cable Television 26.         For men, whom do you consider yourself most like: a.   Mr. Wilson b.   Henry Mitchell c.   Dennis the Menace Mr. Wilson 27.         For men, whom do you consider yourself most like: a.   Mr Burns b.   Smithers c.   Homer Simpson Homer 28.         For women, whom do you consider yourself most like: (For men: which one are you more attracted to.) a.   Lovie Howell b.   Ginger c.   Mary Ann Mary Ann 29.         For women, whom do you consider yourself most like: (For men: which one are you more attracted to.) a.   June Cleaver b.   Mary Richards c.   Maude None 30.         Which do you prefer: the Addams Family or the Munsters. Addams Family 31.         Match these major religions with their primary messages- or substitute other messages: a.   Christians            1.Death to the infidels b.   Jews                  2.   BELIEVE IN JESUS c.   Muslims                  3.   WE are the chosen ones a2,b3,c1 (Is this obvious or what.) 32.         Political Leanings a.   Women in Combat: Yes or No          (Yes) b.   Gays in the military: Yes or No          (Yes) c.   Current abortion laws: About Right, Too Lenient, Too Strict  (About Right) d.   Government: About Right, Too Big, Too Small          (Too Small) e.   America: About Right, More Isolationist, World's Policeman      (Policeman) f.   Help for poor: About Right, More, Less          (More) g.   Pro Conservation or Pro Big Business          (Conservation) 33.         Expressions, original or otherwise, that apply to you. When treated like an ass, I respond in kind. 34.         Favorite saying The mind is like a parachute. You have to open it every once in a while to see that it works. There's two things that you need to know that will guarantee you personal success and well being:      1. Don't tell everything that you know.   2... 35.         Favorite Joke Auto manufacturers have come up with a new device that reduces automobile noise 95% while you're driving. They won't give out any details except that - it fits right over your wife's mouth. 36.         Best description of your spouses attitude towards you: Angelic, Zero Tolerance, Work Harder, Relax, Whatever Zero Tolerance 37.         Proudest Moment - Comical One morning while at work I had a sudden powerful urge to go to the rest room. After hurrying to the John I discovered that my "urge" had been entirely gas - and proceeded to unleash a loud lengthy blast of wind. To my surprise (and pride) it sounded exactly like an elephant's trumpeting out of one of those old Johnny Wisemuller Tarzan movies. I hadn't heard anyone, myself included, make this noise before. While thinking about it, I heard the person in the next stall whisper, "Ungowa" - which means "Go" in Tarzan's ape language. I took his advice - and left.